Pink Paw Print

Monday, February 1, 2016

New Semester, New Me?

Last semester was incredible. Although there were certainly some intense struggles and challenges, on the whole, I was so grateful for everything that I had learned and for all of the strength that I had acquired. This semester, though, there are a lot of changes that I'm going to be making. It definitely wasn't fun getting broken up with the day before classes started, but I've cried enough and had enough panic attacks by now to the point where I've realized that I can't go on living in that way. Changes need to be made. I don't deserve to be depressed, and I don't deserve to feel so anxious that I can't really breathe very well or constantly feel sick to my stomach. I deserve happiness. We all do. This semester is my last at college, and although part of me wants to try to even begin wrapping my head around that fact, I'm not even going to attempt that just quite yet! :p I've applied to graduate school, and I can't wait to hear back! My fingers are crossed! *jumps up and down excitedly* I'm trying this new thing where I stay present in every given moment. If I'm brushing my teeth, for example, I don't let my mind wander at all. I focus on my teeth, and the taste of the toothpaste, and making sure that I don't accidentally walk out of the bathroom with dribble on my face.... #oops !! Last semester, I had the fun I had always dreamed of having in college (nothing wild, but just plain fun with friends), but this semester, although I definitely do want to have fun, I want to change my focus in the slightest bit. That focus is self-improvement for the rest of the few months we have left of school, in major aspects of my life, as follows!

1 // Appearance

It's time to do something drastic with my hair. The last time I got my hair styled was back in August (!!!). Granted, I cut off several inches back in December with a pair of scissors in my dorm room, which was a definite change, but I'm talking something even more noticeable - dying it. Want to see what color!? I'm getting it done this week... so check back soon, because I'll definitely do a post on my new 'do. I'm additionally considering getting the keratin (formaldehyde-free) treatment that will semi-permanently straighten my hair so I can just kind of not even worry if people are going to make fun of me and say I look "frizzy." ~~*casually hisses like an angry snake*~~ lmaooo! Also, I've been cutting out a LOOOOOOOT of sugar (which for me is a huge deal, because I used to have something sweet at every single meal, including breakfast), and even skipping decaf coffee and hot chocolate. It really works wonders for nurturing healthy skin! Something else that I've been doing lately is watching makeup tutorials. I've mentioned a few times on here how I was bullied for years about the way that I look, and while I've learned to love how I look, even makeup-free, I do think that a face is a blank canvas that we can play around with using makeup as paints.

2 // Physical & Mental Health

Exercising daily is definitely something that I'm including in my new self, because I think it is so important to be not totally out of breath when getting to my class on the fourth floor of a building to have inner health, even more so than a good-looking exterior. Your body is your temple, so they say, and it is such a precious thing. I want to show my body that I respect it. Although I dropped my yoga class this semester because last semester I was incredibly sleep deprived, and with all that is going on for my super busy senior spring semester, I need more sleep (the class is a 9AM lolz)... I still practice yoga in my dorm room almost every single day on my own time. When I feel like I need a good stretch, I simply roll out my mat and go into zen-mode. Ooooh, yeahhhh. :p! Also, it kills me sometimes, because I knew if I wasn't always so anxious or worrying or upset about something, I could really accomplish some pretty great things (which I still do accomplish a lot of great things, but I know I could do even more!). So, I'm going to fight the anxious feelings by merely changing my focus to go find positive, happy, interesting, thought-provoking things to engage in! I am definitely the "artist" type, even if I sometimes tend to dress on the preppier side, and everything I feel, I feel deeply. I feel emotions stronger than most people, it's safe to say, and I've been told I can be pretty intense. Not that this is a bad thing, but keeping things in check and pulling back into happier emotions is definitely a new practice of mine that I'm gonna hang around and put onto my tool belt, so to speak.

3 // Intellect

Learning is one of my greatest passions in life - I enjoy learning about almost anything, honestly, except math which makes me uncomfortable... I got an A in college-level statistics, but I much prefer non-number related activities (aka writing and editing and reading....and shopping :3 !) I view life as one big lesson, and I can't wait to spend my time truly engaging in my studies this semester. I finished my English major last semester, so this semester I'm taking the time to explore my other great passion  - psychology. I'm going to be completing a minor in psychology, which definitely helps with creative writing, and enlightens my understanding and analysis of characters found in literature. I'm going to spend my free time (not much, but still! lolz.) in more productive ways, rather than ruminating on things that upset me! Practicing my Spanish skills on Duolingo, writing poetry in a journal, reading a novel for a half hour before bed, listening to podcasts, actually making sure to read theSkimm each morning, and writing blog posts more often are my daily goals.

So there you have it! Some new changes are definitely happening, and I'm going to embrace them -and life!- every step of the way.

What are you looking to change about yourself in the upcoming few months before the summer?Let me know in the comments below! (I fixed the commenting, btw... :3 so it should work better now! <3)
xoxo, Brooke

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