Pink Paw Print

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Being Loved The "Right" Way

My twenty-first birthday was eleven days ago, and I've been reflecting about my past up to this point. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, this means I was thinking a lot about love.

[imaginary pictures of all previous relationships here]


The truth is, friends, it's not enough to be loved - you need to be loved in the way that's right for you.

Some people need a partner who will give them a decent amount of alone time, while others need to text constantly throughout the day. (The first, for me - hey, I'm a busy lady!)

Some people need to count on a partner to come visit them with some chicken soup and tissues if they're sick, while others don't care about their partner "being there" for them either way. (Again, the first, for me except swap the chicken broth with vegetable broth! #thatvegetarianlifestyle)

Some people like pointing out attractive-looking people with their partner (okay, mini-rant here: this is SO NOT my style!!!! < / end rant > hahaha!), while others view this as unnecessary and detrimental to the relationship (ding ding ding!!).

Out of respect, I tried to avoid mentioning specific instances from  my personal experience as best as I could there. Key word: tried ;) ahaha, but what I'm getting at here is that someone might love you with all of their humanly power, but it still may not be in the style of loving that you need. Some people show their affection through words, others use actions, or material gifts; whichever you need, as nobody has the right to judge (even that last one that I'm sure caused a few eye-rolls), it is important to find a partner who's loving style is compatible with your own so both of you can feel fully appreciated and adored.

Love Me Like I Love You Glitter
I can tell you, though, there are some things that are never okay in love, such as feeling scared all the time (ugh), or belittled, or otherwise disrespected. These are your non-negotiables. For the other things, it's definitely up to you to figure out whether or not you can learn to live with somebody's way of showing love that may not have been your original choice - maybe it's not so bad if your partner wants to celebrate monthly anniversaries, after all! (Ahem, ahem)

I've seen my fair share of couples with people who clearly do love each other, but aren't providing the type of love that the other person craves. As emotionally difficult as it can be, if you have a lot of needs -this is not a bad thing, regardless of what society might say; we all have needs, whether we admit them to ourselves/others or not, so never apologize for yours!- that aren't being met, and still aren't being met after having a heart-to-heart about the way things are going, then it's best to cut the cord, so to speak, and continue on your journey of "finding" the right person.

What are your non-negotiables about the way in which you'd like to be loved?
xoxo, Brooke

2 comments:

  1. For me, spending time together is the most important :)
    I agree that the way you show and receive affection from one another is really important! Every couple should get to find out each other's love languages and try to take note of them, it'd make the relationship so much more pleasant! Thanks for sharing and happy belated 21st birthday girl!

    www.melodysim.com

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    1. Definitely!! I agree; it's super important to understand where the other is coming from. Aww, thank you so so much! :)

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